I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Randomize
