What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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