Kiss
Puke
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
