Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
