yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
