The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
