bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Randomize
