don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize