Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
