There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize