You made me cry and you don't even care
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
