look no pants
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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