dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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