Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
