How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
