She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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