I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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