Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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