Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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