Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
