Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
