He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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