I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
