and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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