i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
This is classic penis vs brain.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
