i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
