I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
