We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
