I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
