And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
