He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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