We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
