let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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