And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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