He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
