meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I just pynch a tree in the face
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.