Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
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I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
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He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I want to fling myself into the sun