Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The Olympian is in my bed
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!