I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My life is pants optional.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
