we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
