I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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