NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
