I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
