We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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