yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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