umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
