Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
