Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
