THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
