Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
