Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
