I am puke
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
