Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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