sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
