i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize