there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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