This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize