dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
