Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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