I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
