Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
