there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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