ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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