so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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