is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
