this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
