I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
