i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Dear god my vagina.
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