so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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