party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It's official drugs can't kill me
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
wow bdsm is so cute
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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