Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
